09.26.08
Posted in Kids and Money at 4:06 pm by CreditMom
There is much debate on how much to tell your children about the current economy. It’s the main focus of the news, it’s talked about in school and we live in an area where many parents work for major financial institutions.
I feel it is important for children to understand the current economic issues in an age appropriate fashion. But how do you explain the economy without instilling fear and insecurity? The Wall Street Journal has an interesting post on explaining the current economic mess to children. Below is their age appropriate guide to communication. Personally, I read through it and feel it’s a bit too vague and over protective for the older ages. In fact, the messages really don’t vary that much by age…go ahead and read for yourself….
At some point you need to involve your children in family finances. How do you prepare them for life situations by just comforting them and saying every thing is ok? There is an example in the WSJ article in which a father explains to his daughter they need to trim back a bit. His daughter made a list of all the things she could cut back on (movies, etc). The father reacted by telling her they weren’t that bad off instead of complimenting her for her foresight. I would be thrilled if any of my children were mature enough to do that! Yes, you still have to reassure your child you are in control of your financial situation but children also need to do their share as part of the family unit. I’m not saying you send a 10 year old out to work but there are many ways a child can help out when times are rough. For example, if you cancel the lawn mowing service to save money, your child can take on that task etc.
We explained the economic crisis to our children the best way we could, afterall it’s not that simple for even us to understand. I thought this post from the NY Times was helpful (although a bit slanted) when speaking to our children because it’s written in layman’s terms. Do they get it? Not fully but they do understand conceptually we are in a time of major belt tightening and we all need to do our share. So now when we shave a bit off their allowance and curb our dining out events they at least have a basic understanding of where we are coming from and are part of the “team”. They may not like it but quite frankly, we’re not loving it either.
Life is about ups and downs. If we keep telling our children everything is ok how will they ever learn to manage without us?
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08.19.08
Posted in Kid's Responsibilities at 1:22 pm by CreditMom
Almost a month ago I posted about my twins’ desire to replace their broken RockBand drums. I’d love to say they have earned the money for new replacement drums by hard and earnest work but I can’t say that. Granted they were away in summer sleepaway camp for a month giving them few work opportunities but the urgency is just not there yet.
When I last wrote, one twin was scooping poop and enjoying it while the other was performing more adhoc requests like laundry. The good news is my poop scooping twin is still scooping (not necessarily enjoying it but I guess given the nature of the job I can’t fault him) and still getting paid. The bad news is my adhoc twin is still negotiating the chores he would like to do. The problem is he really doesn’t want to do any chores so he doesn’t have much leverage here. So one twin is getting an allowance and the other is not.
Here is the fun part. The scooper twin has enough allowance for his share of the RockBand drums. Since the adhoc twin hasn’t earned much, he does not have enough money to cover his share. While in Target, scooper twin asked if we can buy the RockBand drums. Unfortunately I had to tell him no because his brother did not do his share and perhaps he speak with him and encourage him to get off his butt and start doing something around the house.
Ok, I know what you’re thinking…bad parenting. I’m pitting one son (twins to make matters worse!) against the other and they’ll be emotionally destroyed for life. My response is Get a Grip! Adhoc twin (although I love him dearly) needs a kick in the pants to start thinking and acting responsibly and who better to deliver that message than his now frustrated twin brother – in fact if you listen closely you just might be able to hear the conversation right now. Kids need to understand consequences and accept responsiblity from an early age. If we just replace the drums they broke what are we teaching them? Stay tuned……
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07.24.08
Posted in Kids and Money at 10:51 pm by CreditMom
My kids go to a midweek sleepaway camp. They get on the bus Monday morning and come home Friday night. My 14 year old has been going for 4 years and this year for the first time we sent the 10 year old twins. We decided to send the twins for only two weeks because we were a bit nervous how one of them would adjust — plus it just costs so much money!
Well, by the 2nd day the twins called home (they’re allowed daily phone calls…a curse and a blessing at the same time) and asked that we extend their stay for another 2 week session. Now remember, everything we do is double…well actually triple if you count our 14 year old. But the 14 year old was staying 5 weeks so how could we say no to 4 weeks for the twins? I mean isn’t that saying we love the 14 year old more than the twins? (At least, that’s the typical guilt trip they give us).
So my husband and I discussed it and decided to give in and extend camp another 2 weeks. Now I would love to say we did this out of our undying love for our children and enormous generosity but that would be a complete lie. We did it because it’s so darn peaceful in our house and we’ve gained back our FREEDOM! We’ve been going to the beach, dining out and just doing whatever we want when we want….imagine that concept?
During the weekend he was home, my 14 year old said, “I can’t believe you’re sending the twins another 2 weeks. How much is that costing?” So when I gave him the figure, he stared in disbelief and said, “How do you guys even make enough money for that? How do you pay for it?” At first I was taken aback but then I realized this was a good thing. After all these years he was finally developing some financial awareness.
I told him we start paying for next year’s camp the week camp ends this year. So in August 08, we will begin paying for Summer 09 and we’ll get a discount by signing up early. We pay the camp fees monthly throughout the year, just like any other expense and when one of us has extra cash we send an extra payment, just so we don’t have to go into credit card debt. It’s all a matter of budgeting and priorities.
I hope some financial awareness is beginning to settle in and they appreciate this privilege. But judging from my conversation tonight, I think the only awareness the twins have is self awareness. In fact, when asked why he didn’t call home last night one of them said, “Because I had nothing to say to you and I was surrounded by girls.” Oh my…what should we expect when they all come home????
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07.21.08
Posted in Kids and Money at 11:22 pm by CreditMom
We’re all huge Batman fans in my family so Friday morning I purchased 5 tickets from moviefone.com for the evening show of the Dark Knight. It cost us $100.50 for a 2 1/2 hour movie. Don’t get me wrong, the movie was awesome. We all loved it, in fact we all would actually see it again…well, if we didn’t have to pay for it!
So here is the cost breakdown of our little family Friday night treat:
Movie tickets (2 adults, 3 children, $1 ea online surcharge): $50.50
4 Popcorns $24.00
1 Candy $ 4.50
5 Sodas $17.50
Parking $ 4.00
GRAND TOTAL $100.50
Gone are the days of the drive in movie when your parents used to pack you into the car in pajamas and make you hide under the blanket in the back seat so they wouldn’t have to pay for you. Gone are the prices too! At today’s prices you have to be really selective in the movies you choose. How does any one afford to take their family to the movies these days?
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07.20.08
Posted in Kid's Responsibilities at 9:26 pm by CreditMom
I’ve been posting about my children’s quest to earn moneyto replace their broken RockBand drums. It’s been a bit tough for them since they have been away at camp but this weekend they decided they were going to tackle the issue head on….through allowance. In other words through our money.
So I decided to hear them out. The first twin said he would pick up the dog poop from the yard if I would buy him a pooper scooper. So I said to him, if you behave today, I’ll buy you a pooper scooper (yes I actually did hear those words come out of my mouth and yes there is something wrong with this picture!) But he did behave and off we went to Petco to invest in a $20 extra large sized pooper scooper which believe it or not excited him to no end.
What excited me was his attitude about working and his self motivation. He took it upon himself to wake up early and start his yard chore without any prompting from me. He was so excited that he wanted to show me how much he cleaned up but I passed on that one. I decided to give him allowance every time he does his chores as opposed to once a week so of course he got his allowance today.
The second twin didn’t like my suggestions of setting the table, emptying the dishwasher every night or kitchen clean up (who would like those suggestions? I can’t stand them myself!). So we settled on laundry. This could end up costing more than the allowance in the long run but I decided to take a chance by making sure his first load of laundry consisted of only swim suits and beach towels - can’t do too much damage with that. I posted instructions on the wall and to his credit he followed them precisely. In addition, he had to deliver each basket of laundry into the proper rooms. He also did a great job and got his allowance today as well.
I must say having my twins ask me to buy them things isn’t so bad because every time they ask I just say you can buy it with your own money. When they say they don’t have enough money, I just say work harder…not a bad lesson to learn early on right?
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07.14.08
Posted in Kids and Money at 12:13 pm by CreditMom
My 14 year old teenager loves checking out “hot” cars. For some reason he has this idea that when he turns 16 we’ll be buying him a new car. I’m not sure where or why he would get that idea other than the fact we live in an affluent neighborhood where many people go into credit card debt to pay for cars, weddings, Bar Mitzvahs and communions.
So yesterday we were driving in my Nissan Murano and I noted the car would come off of lease in 2 years, perfect timing for when he turns16, so perhaps we buy it and he make the car payments (from the job he will be getting!). This way we wouldn’t have to buy a used car from a dealer or someone we don’t know. Plus the car is very well made, reliable and sturdy…a perfect car for a teenage boy.
Well - You would have thought I was offering him a 1975 Dodge Dart (actually that might have been better than my prized Murano). He said, “sorry, Mom but I really don’t want this car. It’s not my type, especially the color (silver). I mean can’t I just get a small Lexus like Jennifer? Come on, I’m not asking for a Rolls!” And then he had the nerve to say, “ok, maybe I’ll just get a motorcycle.”
You know those moments when you say, “where did I go wrong?” Well I had one of those. So bascially I told him what we’re going to do. Since we can’t do anything right now, we’ll wait 2 years. Then you figure out how much of YOUR money you can spend on a car including gas and insurance and we’ll see if miraculously that Murano becomes just your “type”….and by the way, if through working you have enough saved for a Lexus…go for it.
It’s not easy living in a neighborhood of entitlement, actually it’s a battle every day. Do any of you face similar issues? How do you handle them?
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07.10.08
Posted in Kids and Money at 10:00 pm by CreditMom
Gone are the days when summer camp was a luxury. In my mind, it’s now a necessity. Why? With so many dual income/working homes there aren’t that many options to keep your child busy and out of trouble over the summer, especially when a parent isn’t there to supervise.
It will cost thousands of dollars over the next 8 weeks to keep my three children socialized, exercised, safe and away from the computers and video games. WOW!!!!! So how much money does it take to send your kid to camp? Since we live in a major metropolitan area on the east coast the fees are exorbitant. The average summer day camp is between $300 and $600 a week. The average summer sleepaway camp is between $700 to $1000 per week. The more specialized the camp (i.e. baseball, music, computer science) the higher the fee.
Why do we choose to spend so much money? Well, we really don’t have that much of a choice since my husband and I both work full time. Sure we could probably hire a nanny to watch our 3 children for less money but unless she can come up with 2 months of stimulating FREE activities that cater to each of their age groups, it wouldn’t be much of a savings option.
So for 8 weeks our little bundles of mischief and joy get to romp and play in the outdoors, swim, eat tons of ice cream, socialize and make those lovely rope bracelets they insist you wear “all for free” (as my kids say) just so we have peace of mind they are off the streets and challenged by something other than electronic equipment.
When you look at the weekly cost, it’s pretty hard to justify but do we have a choice? Schools aren’t in session 12 months a year and both of us need to work. The best thing for us is we know our kids are safe and supervised. The best thing for them is they are stimulated, well rounded and building life long friendships and memories….so isn’t that worth it?
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07.03.08
Posted in Kid's Responsibilities at 9:05 pm by CreditMom
Monday I posted about my twins’ quest to earn money to replace the RockBand drums they broke. They have $36 between them and need roughly $35 more. So, they decided to sell DVDs, video games and CD’s to earn the balance needed. I decided I was not going to remind them about their money making adventure and sit back and see just how motivated they are.
Well, surprise, surprise. Today on their own with no prompting from me, they gathered their items, asked me to make a sign (which I willingly did) and set up a table displaying their items outside our driveway. Since it’s a long holiday weekend I told them it probably wasn’t the best day to sell goods as many people were away and not strolling by as usual. But nevertheless they were determined to get out and sell.
Unfortunately I was correct. The streets were empty and no one stopped by but I told them not to get discouraged, they would have better luck on a non holiday weekend and they should just pack it in for tonight. I worried the lack of business would upset them but in no time they were back to their mischief, as I overheard one of them say in the kitchen, “hey, wanna play catch with this watermelon?”
Well my little bundles of mischief and menace are going to be away in camp for the next couple of weeks but when they return I’m sure they’ll be back out there again and hopefully they’ll have better results. And NO I did not allow them to play catch with a 15 lb watermelon in my kitchen. But I will continue to keep you posted on their countdown to $35.
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07.02.08
Posted in Kid's Responsibilities at 9:13 am by CreditMom
Last week my twins broke their RockBand drums. Since they’re twins we’ll never know who actually did the final damage but I’m used to that, as they have grown up in a world of “we” and “us”. A new replacement set is about $70 and I told them I refuse to pay for it and they would need to buy a new set from their own money or their allowance. I did, however search some of the RockBand posts and found this to be common problem. I mean, come on, they are drums and they are meant to be banged right?
But, nevertheless it’s their game and their responsibility and therefore, their replacement. I must say, they’re pretty resourceful. They searched for replacement drums online and of course came upon Ebay (I know this because one of them said, “Mom, what’s a bid?”). After explaining the bid process I told them the first thing to do is determine how much money they have combined. They got pretty discouraged when the total contents of their wallets came to $36, half of what they need.
It then prompted them to come up with ideas on how to earn the money. The first thing I said was, “how about do your chores so you can get an allowance?” They didn’t like that idea. Oh well, no chores, no allowance. They then decided they would work at Subway making sandwiches. I told them you need to be 16 to work at a store. To that they replied, “but we’re double digits, why can’t we work in a store?” Then they said, “We’ll sell our old sneakers!” I said, “oh sure, they’ll be lining up around the block to buy your dirty smelly sneakers.” They replied, “we’ll put those fabric softener things in them”.
After they told me I was making their lives very difficult, they decided to sell all of their old books, DVD’s, video games and CD’s. I had to coach them a bit on the pricing, as they suggested charging $20 for a 3 year old used video game, but they are determined to sell a bit every day after they return home from camp.
We’ll see how determined they are because I’m not going to push them at all. If they really want those drums, let’s see how creative they get…it’s a good lesson and I’ll keep you posted on their progress!
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06.30.08
Posted in Video Games at 1:29 pm by CreditMom
Wii, Playstation, XBox 360, kids and video games are out of control already - or are they? Video games are more sophisticated and therefore more expensive. The fully loaded average video gaming system can run in the $500 range. The games start at $50, with bundles like Rock Band going for upwards of $150.
Plus it’s an addicting time drain when your kids can be outside playing sports and socializing. But yet, many of us are falling prey. Why?
Well, I certainly do my share of yelling to shut down the video games, put them on timers and play referee to my 3 boys that all want to be on the system at the same time. I also lose my mind when a $50 game gets scratched because they “forgot” to put it back in it’s case or the drums from Rock Band break because they hit them too hard (of course we’ll never know which one of them was the culprit) . But lately I’ve backed down a bit because I must admit many of the games are quite fun, interactive and engage a team (not just solo play) of players at one time.
Take Rock Band or Guitar Hero for instance. My boys love this game, in fact I love it too. To get the most out of these games you need team participation. Believe it or not, there are times my kids actually invite me to do vocals (of course it’s a bit self serving as not one of them can remotely carry a tune, but I really don’t mind at all). Imagine a 14 year old boy “hanging out” with his friends and family? That’s just unheard of right? And the Wii sport games like tennis, golf, boxing and many more actually make them sweat and again, are best played as a team.
And I don’t believe for a minute that a child will use Rock Band as a substitute for playing the real instrument. In fact, in addition to the saxophone and trumpet my kids are now interested in taking drum and guitar lessons.
Of course like anything else video games can be used to excess. But isn’t that true of anything? Our job as parents is to exercise good judgment in the amount of time spent and the type of games played by our children. But I will say, when I have a ton of kids partying with Rock Band in the basement at least I can say I know exactly where my kids are and to me it’s worth the investment, how about you?
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