09.12.08
Working Moms: Palin Judged On Returning to Work??
The latest Palin buzz (after the lipstick on a pig comment) is a debate about Governor Palin’s decision to return to work only 3 days after she gave birth to her youngest baby. See post on msnbc.com. Now, I’m not going to make this a political post, nor will I share my November voting preference…it really has no bearing on this topic. Rather, it is my intention to point out why this most recent debate is so relevant to me as a career woman, wife and mom who is trying to teach her kids a thing or two about financial and social responsibility.
When or if a woman chooses to return to work after pregnancy is no one’s decision but hers. Why do people feel they know what is best for each individual? And, why should the timing of her return even be relevant to this election? What happened to personal choice, doing what’s best for your family, responsibility, PAYING YOUR BILLS, etc.? Should the fact that Governor Palin returned from leave 3 days or 3 months after child birth be detrimental to other working moms that would like to remain on leave longer? NO….why should it? Women need to weigh many things when deciding if and when to return to work. Women need to make their own CHOICES and here are some of the things we wrestle with:
- Finances - Can I afford to be out of work for an extended period of time? If your finances or standard of living do not support it, you might have to come back to work earlier.
- Company policy - What is the maternity leave policy at my job? Are paid maternity benefits offered? There is the standard Family Medical Leave Act that offers 12 weeks of UNPAID medical leave for pregnancy and guarantees a “like” position upon return but if finances are an issue, 3 months off without pay isn’t going to help much.
- Career Interests - Where am I in my career? Are you still climbing the corporate ladder? Is there someone waiting in the wings to take your place? Are you going to be out of work at a critical period of time, i.e. budget season? How long have you worked at the company? What is your boss’ expectations about your maternity leave? Both my maternity leaves took place during budget season - not the best timing. Since my contribution was critical to the decision making process I began working part time from home one week after both deliveries. I knew I was ultimately returning to work full time and developing the budget numbers tied into my annual goals and objectives. In fact when I returned, I was actually promoted!
- Home Resources - What sort of care can I obtain for my child? Can you get reliable and affordable help? Can your husband take some time off and share in the care taking as well? Caring for your child is no longer just the mom’s role as many women are now in equally if not higher paying jobs as men.
- What’s Best For Your Child - What is best for my child? Only you know the answer to that question. I’ll just offer one piece of advice: a happy woman makes a happy mother so listen to your feelings.
So how does this tie into the lessons I am teaching my children? I feel we are sending a positive message when a mom explains to her children that she needs to quickly return to work so she can contribute to the household. We should not be judging mothers who return to work after 3 days, 3 months or 3 years. Would we rather tell our kids we’re losing our house due to credit card debt while mom stays home? What about the women who don’t necessarily need to go back to work but return because they desire financial independence and security? Aren’t we being positive role models for our children? Or do we still live in the days where money messages are best left to the men?
Whew! I’m anxious to hear your feedback on this one!!
Stumble it!
Rosie : ) said,
September 13, 2008 at 9:46 am
The whole situation revolving around women and their career choices is frustrating. When hubby and I decided to have children, we really wanted for me to stay home with them unitl they started school. We were young, and my “career” {university schooling at that point} was not in a particular spot. It was easy to make this decision. Maybe not always easy financially, but emotionally, it was the perfect decision for us.
The downfall of this is that my “intellectual” side was pushed back for a few years. I felt a bit stagnant and was very tired of people thinking I was just some dumb housewife {argh!}. So I started teaching classes at night.This gave me an outlet for a different part of my brain, other than the 5 years and under logic.
If I had a creer when I had children, it might have had a different outcome. I really cannot say.
My point, {long-winded, I know}, is that it comes down to so many factors. You’ve hit upon all of them. But maybe personal choice is not always linked to finances? Maybe it is just to be able to keep testing yourself? Your children can learn to ahve you around alot, but admire you for reaching your own goals.
I am still technically a “stay-at-home” Mom, but I don’t limit myself to sitting aournd and eating bonbons while watching soap operas all day. Who the heck decided that was our routine? {lol} I barely have time to brush my teeth in the morning! Work is simply a matter of perspective. I work all day long, and get paid in hugs and kisses. If Mrs. Palin brings her baby along with her, she is working but still with her family. I have no idea, I really don’t appreciate politics much {and I’m not American either. :)}. But it comes down to personal choice. And I think it’s time we recognize that *your* personal choice might not mirror another’s personal choice.
Does this all make sense?
CreditMom said,
September 13, 2008 at 9:57 am
Hi Rosie
I agree with you. In my mind, it’s about choice and what works best for your situation may not work best for someone else. Why do we all have to be cookie cutters of each other? Wouldn’t that get a bit boring?
I respect the women that make the hard decisions to stay home just as much as the ones that make the equally hard decision to work.
It sounds kind of silly but why can’t we all just get along???
CreditMom said,
September 15, 2008 at 9:29 am
Hi MITBeta:
I fully agree with you and as I noted above I chose not to make this a political discussion or share my voting views. It’s not about whether or not she would make a good VP, it is like you and I both said, CHOICE.
My bottom line point is, regardless of whether or not we agree with Sarah Palin’s views no one should be judging her on the choices she made.
Nataliya said,
September 17, 2008 at 3:17 pm
With all respect I still can not imagine how on the Earth one can return to work 3 days after having a baby. I am not judging by any means, I just simply cannot imagine. I think even running outside to get some groceries would be too soon on the day 3. Doctors recommend staying in the hospital 2 days after childbirth for a reason. She is a super human.
CreditMom said,
September 18, 2008 at 3:40 pm
I know…I can’t imagine returning after 3 days either but who knows what her situation was? That’s why people shouldn’t judge…what is good for one is not necessarily good for another…not sure why we can’t all accept people’s differences and move on!
Rosie : ) said,
September 22, 2008 at 9:16 am
gah! Can you tell I haven’t had my coffee yet? I am so sorry for the millions of typos!
Robin Altman said,
October 5, 2008 at 11:05 pm
I have always wondered why we have to judge each other so harshly. Who the heck cares how soon a woman goes back to work after childbirth? That’s her business!
I have friends who work in the home and out of the home. They made certain choices that have to do with how they get fulfillment in their life. As far as I’m concerned, that’s no one’s business but theirs. Sheesh!
I have to agree with Nataliya, though. Only 3 days of rest? Ouch! If she had a C section, I’m really going to be impressed.
CreditMom said,
October 5, 2008 at 11:11 pm
I agree on that one..I had 2 C’s. In hindsight I think it would have been easier to go back to work than home with the babies! But who knows what sort of help she had..also, she might have worked at home. At the end of the day like you said, we shouldn’t be judging people and it really has no place in this election.
BTW: I added you to my blogroll as well.
Anne Pisca said,
October 9, 2008 at 11:24 am
It’s not the fact that she returned to work after three days that bothers me, it’s the fact that she returned three days after giving birth to her first special needs child. I’m sure she learned everything there is to know about how best raise this child while recovering from giving birth to it, or perhaps which nanny to hire.
CreditMom said,
October 9, 2008 at 11:54 am
You have a point…and quite frankly I can’t imagine it myself but again…it’s really about managing to her own lifestyle and what fits her needs. Who knows…maybe her husband is the care taker…would that be so bad?
Karen said,
November 7, 2008 at 3:42 pm
I don’t think you’re comparing apples to apples here. I mean, gov. Palin makes a nice little income, does she not? so she can afford the very best in childcare or nanny services.
Most of the rest of us are not nearly as affluent and so we shouldn’t be comparing the choices we make to her siutation.