08.19.08
Kids and Allowance: Still Counting Down to the RockBand Drums
Almost a month ago I posted about my twins’ desire to replace their broken RockBand drums. I’d love to say they have earned the money for new replacement drums by hard and earnest work but I can’t say that. Granted they were away in summer sleepaway camp for a month giving them few work opportunities but the urgency is just not there yet.
When I last wrote, one twin was scooping poop and enjoying it while the other was performing more adhoc requests like laundry. The good news is my poop scooping twin is still scooping (not necessarily enjoying it but I guess given the nature of the job I can’t fault him) and still getting paid. The bad news is my adhoc twin is still negotiating the chores he would like to do. The problem is he really doesn’t want to do any chores so he doesn’t have much leverage here. So one twin is getting an allowance and the other is not.
Here is the fun part. The scooper twin has enough allowance for his share of the RockBand drums. Since the adhoc twin hasn’t earned much, he does not have enough money to cover his share. While in Target, scooper twin asked if we can buy the RockBand drums. Unfortunately I had to tell him no because his brother did not do his share and perhaps he speak with him and encourage him to get off his butt and start doing something around the house.
Ok, I know what you’re thinking…bad parenting. I’m pitting one son (twins to make matters worse!) against the other and they’ll be emotionally destroyed for life. My response is Get a Grip! Adhoc twin (although I love him dearly) needs a kick in the pants to start thinking and acting responsibly and who better to deliver that message than his now frustrated twin brother – in fact if you listen closely you just might be able to hear the conversation right now. Kids need to understand consequences and accept responsiblity from an early age. If we just replace the drums they broke what are we teaching them? Stay tuned……
Stumble it!
Rosie : ) said,
August 20, 2008 at 9:30 am
Good job.
Even though we don’t have twins, your method would be what we would use to show the consequence of their actions. Basically, since you said : “No new drums until you have earned the money.” How could you go back on your word? What would that teach them?
It is hard, heartbreaking even, to give your child such a rigid stance. But, I think that by the time my kids reach your sons’ ages, they will have some sense of responsibility as much as your sons.
Keep up the stories, it helps me think about the “fun times” of teenagehood coming up for us…eek!
CreditMom said,
August 20, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Hi Rosie
The great thing about my kids is I always seem to have material. Thanks for reading.
CreditMom
Amy said,
August 20, 2008 at 7:08 pm
I totally get the lesson. I have an 8 yr old daughter and 7 yr old son that live with their dad most of the year and it just never ceases to make them mad that their 5 yr old brother owns his own computer.
I have to remind them that HE set this goal last year and has gone around asking EVERYONE for even the tiniest chores and asking for loose pennies. HE asked his grandmother for her old computer and offered her payment for it (he paid her and she gave us the money for his savings account, lol), and HE looked for his monitor and HE paid for it (we paid for the warranty)… It took him a lot of planning and patience, but he now has his own computer… He even agreed that he will have internet monitoring software installed, a net nanny program, and that he can be grounded from his family computer contract, which would allow him NO computer use whatsoever even though it is his system…
It’s hard for the older 2, but they have also begun saving their money and my daughter is saving for a laptop and my oldest son is saving for a Wii…
(On a side note, my middle son, the one with the computer, is now saving for a bike for him and a big wheel for his baby brother, lol).
Amy said,
August 20, 2008 at 7:09 pm
Oh, on another side note… You are quite welcome for the mention… I have just recently discovered your blog and I just love the advice
CreditMom said,
August 20, 2008 at 8:35 pm
WOW! 5 years old and so responsible. That is wonderful..but you know what is so amazing - you can have 3 kids and they’re all different - and mine are twins!
You are doing a great job and I’m going to share this with kids.
Donna Freedman said,
August 25, 2008 at 7:46 pm
Amy: Good for you for sticking to your guns! Kids *do* need to know that rules are rules. If you give in once, they start pushing all the time.
When my daughter was a kid, I would sometimes chip in half for a big-ticket item. Usually, though, she had to save all by herself. She tells me that once there was a toy she really wanted and saved for ages to get — and within a day or so she was completely disenchanted with it. She remembers thinking something along the lines of, “But it looked like so much more fun on TV!” That was a good lesson to learn, she says now.
I did a post on Smart Spending called “Buy Me Something!” — it deals with the need to tell kids “no” and mean it when it comes to shopping. You can find it at http://blogs.moneycentral.msn.com/smartspending/archive/2007/09/24/buy-me-something.aspx.
Thanks for a great post — and an example to new parents everywhere.
Oh, and tell your 5-year-old that he rocks! He’s an example to his OLDER siblings!
Best regards,
Donna Freedman
MSN Money Smart Spending
Kids Allowance: My Boys Are Earning With Household Chores | Credit Mom said,
September 8, 2008 at 11:11 am
[...] learning about children and allowance as I go. There are a lot of people that pay money for chores for children, others require their children work outside the home to earn money and another [...]