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09.12.08

Working Moms: Palin Judged On Returning to Work??

Posted in Life In General at 8:28 pm by CreditMom

The latest Palin buzz (after the lipstick on a pig comment) is a debate about Governor Palin’s decision to return to work only 3 days after she gave birth to her youngest baby. See post on msnbc.com. Now, I’m not going to make this a political post, nor will I share my November voting preference…it really has no bearing on this topic.  Rather, it is my intention to point out why this most recent debate is so relevant to me as a career woman, wife and mom who is trying to teach her kids a thing or two about financial and social responsibility.

When or if a woman chooses to return to work after pregnancy is no one’s decision but hers.  Why do people feel they know what is best for each individual?  And, why should the timing of her return even be relevant to this election?  What happened to personal choice, doing what’s best for your family, responsibility, PAYING YOUR BILLS, etc.?  Should the fact that Governor Palin returned from leave 3 days or 3 months after child birth be detrimental to other working moms that would like to remain on leave longer?  NO….why should it?  Women need to weigh many things when deciding if and when to return to work.  Women need to make their own CHOICES and here are some of the things we wrestle with:

  1. Finances - Can I afford to be out of work for an extended period of time?  If your finances or standard of living do not support it, you might have to come back to work earlier.
  2. Company policy - What is the maternity leave policy at my job?  Are paid maternity benefits offered?  There is the standard Family Medical Leave Act that offers 12 weeks of UNPAID medical leave for pregnancy and guarantees a “like” position upon return but if finances are an issue, 3 months off without pay isn’t going to help much.
  3. Career Interests - Where am I in my career?  Are you still climbing the corporate ladder?  Is there someone waiting in the wings to take your place?  Are you going to be out of work at a critical period of time, i.e. budget season?  How long have you worked at the company?  What is your boss’ expectations about your maternity leave?  Both my maternity leaves took place during budget season - not the best timing.  Since my contribution was critical to the decision making process I began working part time from home one week after both deliveries.  I knew I was ultimately returning to work full time and developing the budget numbers tied into my annual goals and objectives.  In fact when I returned, I was actually promoted!
  4. Home Resources - What sort of care can I obtain for my child?  Can you get reliable and affordable help?  Can your husband take some time off and share in the care taking as well?  Caring for your child is no longer just the mom’s role as many women are now in equally if not higher paying jobs as men. 
  5. What’s Best For Your Child - What is best for my child?  Only you know the answer to that question.  I’ll just offer one piece of advice: a happy woman makes a happy mother so listen to your feelings.

So how does this tie into the lessons I am teaching my children? I feel we are sending a positive message when a mom explains to her children that she needs to quickly return to work so she can contribute to the household.  We should not be judging mothers who return to work after 3 days, 3 months or 3 years.  Would we rather tell our kids we’re losing our house due to credit card debt while mom stays home?  What about the women who don’t necessarily need to go back to work but return because they desire financial independence and security?  Aren’t we being positive role models for our children?  Or do we still live in the days where money messages are best left to the men?

Whew!  I’m anxious to hear your feedback on this one!!

07.28.08

Back Pain and its Effect on My Productivity

Posted in Life In General at 8:15 pm by CreditMom

Friday, the day my kids were to come home from summer camp for the weekend, I lifted a carton containing 12 bottles of club soda and injured my back.  I’ve always suffered from on and off back pain but I knew this time I really pulled some muscles pretty badly.

It is now Monday and I am still in excruciating pain despite 2 trips to a massage therapist, frequent baths, ice and lots of hydrocodone, ibuprofen and muscle relaxers.  So I thought I would write about all of my lost productivity since Friday, with the hopes of putting life into perspective as well as teaching myself a lesson that with 3 strong young boys in the house there is no need for me to be lifting heavy boxes!!!

Cooking - well that went out right along side my back.  I know what you’re thinking and yes, my husband can cook but his pasta has dual use as plaster filler for holes in the walls.  My kids have actually called me in the office begging me to not allow him to cook….ever.  So, delivery it was for 3 days which cost a lot of money.

Driving - Nope, couldn’t do that either.  Between the cocktail of meds I recklessly put in my body, overall discomfort and lack of quick reflexes I thought it best for my entire community that I stay off the roads.  So 3 kids, one driver (that would be my husband, the cook) and lots of plans that had to be revised, adjusted and so on.

Work - not too productive here either.  I typically check emails, blog and tie up open items during my limited alone time over the weekend.  That didn’t happen either.  First, I found it incredibly uncomfortable to sit in one position for more than a minute and second, it was a little hard to focus on anything but sleep due to the pain meds. 

Fun - Was looking forward to some fun time with the kids at the pool this weekend since they go back to camp on Mondays. The fun consisted of me  saying “come sit down next to Mom so we can talk.”  Now that’s just the fun my 3 rambunctious boys were craving rght?  Especially my 14 year old.  Sure mom, there’s nothing I would rather do than sit with you in bed while you are going in and out of a coma.

Well it’s Monday and I couldn’t make it to the office which really made me very angry.  I’m not the type of person that can sit still, I don’t like asking for help and I certainly don’t feel sorry for myself. But I actually slept half the day (all the meds caught up with me) and ended it on a relatively good note.  I’m feeling just a spec better and I had a very productive conference call. The kicker is…I was soaking in the tub during the entire call and no one knew it (except for now I guess)!  Thank goodness I didn’t have a web cam — the things you do to get by.  And now I have been able to sit still long enough to write this post.  It’s the little things in life that I need to stop and appreciate. Any one else have any similar stories to share?