Let me apologize in advance if there are any typos in this post. You see, my hands are shaking from sticker shock at the cost of planning a Bar Mitzvah reception for our twin boys…..oh and please don’t comment, “at least you get them both done at the same time”….it’s no consolation!
Here we go again. We just finished our older son’s in 2007 and are starting to plan one for 2011. Have the prices decreased due to the economy? It really depends…quite frankly, things don’t change that much as, ”you get what you pay for”.
So what type of party do our little devils of honor desire? They want a nightclub party - dancing, bouncers, red carpet entrance, DJ, Emcee, “dance motivators” (what happened to the days when their parents used to motivate them!!), fog lights, live video footage…the works. Our older one kept it so simple and different - a private suite at Yankee stadium for his closest friends - even got to meet Jorge Posada and ride in the private Yankee elevator. If we don’t control the twins it will be a typical NY spectacle - not what we want - but certainly what they want.
Oh, there is one little thing I forgot to mention and also very important to this celebration of adulthood and achievement. It is the religious instruction aspect - after 4 years of what the twins would call “stupid, dumb and useless” Hebrew school, the only reason they have a chance of actually achieving Bar Mitzvah is because the school can’t wait to be rid of our little precious angels!!! I just hope the teachers can finally remove our phone number from their speed dials.
So, back to the expense of this “well deserved” spectacle. There is an old saying that goes like this….buy a brand new car (any budget) and drive it to the top of a cliff. Put it in neutral, get out and push it off the cliff. That pretty much sums up the cost of a Bar Mitzvah.
But I am not here to criticize other people as I believe it is not for me to judge how others spend their money. I’ll keep you posted on our final decision and financial progress….
Today I found a quiz from freescore.com that tests your knowledge about credit scores. What is a credit score? Why is it so important to know your score?, Why is there more than one score? And, what you do with your scores? I decided to have some fun with it and give it to one of my 11 year old twins.
I could tell he was guessing the answers but he was actually applying more effort than I expected to understand the questions. When he saw that he failed the quiz with a grade of 25% (thankfully his school grades do not sink to this level!) he looked at me and simply said, “mom, what’s a credit score?”
So, I was on a roll – I started explaining why a credit score is so important - for future jobs, buying a house, a car, getting a credit card, etc. I said, “you see that car outside? Without a good credit score I wouldn’t have been approved for a lease. How about this house you live in? - Bad credit score - no mortgage.” ”So, how do you get a good credit score?” he asked. Since he’s only 11, I simplified it a bit. “Pay your bills on time, don’t open up too many credit cards and don’t spend more money than you can afford to pay back.” Oh if life were only that simple……
Do your kids know what a credit score is? Do YOU know how important your credit scores are? Click here to take the quiz that was developed by FreeScore.com, where you can get a free credit score with a 7 day trial.
Let me start off with how thankful I am in this down economy my husband and I still have jobs. I don’t say that lightly. Let me also say how thankful my kids are for our jobs! Take this summer for instance. I’m not sure how things got away from us but let me share.
The original plan was about compromise. To some, the compromise we decided to make with our kids might sound a little far fetched but I guess it’s all relative. The twins really wanted to go back to summer sleepaway camp for 6 weeks. We allowed 4 weeks and the remainder of the summer they would attend a very cheap town camp. Ok, that works right?
The older one wanted to go to sleepaway for 4 weeks but he was LUCKY to land a lifeguard job at the young age of 15 and he jumped on it. In addition, his friend’s family offered to take him to the Domincan Republic for a week in August. So, we said, you can’t have it all so choose. He chose wisely (at least we all thought at the time); the Dominican and the job….WHEW.
So far so good right? WRONG. Here is where it all fell apart.
As I was writing the check for my 15 year old to visit the Dominican I realized it was such a great deal that maybe we should all go. After all, we were saving all this money since he was not going to attend sleepaway this year right? So, you got it! We booked a trip for all 5 of us. Hey, can’t pass up a great deal right? Ok, well we’re still ahead because we’re saving all that money on sleepaway.
So, everyone goes up to camp - the twins, my 15 year old’s friends, etc. Everyone but our 15 year old who got very depressed at the thought of not seeing his buddies, not finishing up the 6 years, not having closure, yada yada. OK, enough already! We caved and allowed him to go for 2 weeks only but he had to work on the weekends so he would ensure he would keep this job. Thankfully the job kept him on.
Now onto the twins. At camp, they’re allowed to call home at night so every night the phone call began with “can we extend another 2 weeks?”. I was getting tired of answering the phone! You know what they say about twins and double trouble? It’s not true at all….nope, it’s quadruple trouble!!! The crying, the negotiating, the promises…it was enough to drive us insane. I called up the cheap town camp that I had already paid in full to see if we could get a refund- our money was basically gone. For one week we tried everything we could to figure out how they could stay another 2 weeks and we came up empty. Believe it or not I lost sleep over this.
Wednesday night came around and Friday was to be their last day. They gave us their last pleas and we just couldn’t come up with anything. Finally out of sheer frustration I blurted out, “look if you want to stay so badly, you’re going to pay half of it…we’ll meet you halfway, we just can’t afford it”. The first twin hesitated a lot. He wanted to know if we would pay him back, to which we replied, “NO”. We said if it means that much to you, then we’re taking half out of your bank to pay. After he realized it truly was our final answer he actually agreed. Twin number 2 (the more generous one) would have coughed up the whole thing but we just asked him for half as well. Twin number 2 was saving for a laptop and just saw that go out the window but that’s the choice he made.
So yes, some might find it surprising but we did actually take money out of our children’s bank accounts for camp. We also told them no, shopping, no video games, no eating out. In fact, when their friends offered to take them to the amusement park last week, we told them they could go but they would have to bring their own money.
Are they happy about the decision? I truly believe they areThey are so thankful to be able to have this wonderful summer experience. To some they might sound spoiled but to me they have learned to appreciate things because we don’t just hand things over to them. We are glad we were able to do this for them but we’re equally happy they see what a struggle life is and how it’s all about choices and this choice took some weight out of their pockets as well. As a side note, I’m happy to say, I will get a partial refund from the town camp - an unexpected gift.
As for the older one, since he’s working we haven’t given him any spending money at all. Funny how he’s beginning to like peanut butter again after an order of french fries at the snack bar reduced his thin wallet by $3.25 and an Arizona Iced Tea decreased it by another $2.25. Hmmmm maybe this brown bag thing isn’t so stupid after all is it?
As for us, we had some nice peaceful weeks without kids in the house. And, we still have the Domincan trip which we never would have booked if we would have realized how much this summer would cost. Time for some more belt tightening. All I can say is when I die, I want to come back as one of my kids!
It’s 2009 and we unveiled 2 new baseball stadiums in New York, Yankee Stadium and Citi Field - home of the NY Mets. Along with the new stadiums are new prices. We’re Yankee fans so I haven’t checked out the Mets prices yet but I’m not sure how we will be able to afford to take our kids out to the ball game any more.
Not trying to be a snob but my thinking is if we’re fortunate enough to get tickets to a game I don’t want to experience it from the outfield. At that point we can’t see a darn thing and can get a better and cheaper view from home. So I set forth to obtain decent (not great, just decent) seats. Well, decent by my standards which are not that high, places us in the terrace area between either first and home or third and home - not too demanding right? Sure, well those tickets are in the $75 range plus fees of course and that’s if you get them on yankees.com. If you need to go to a ticket broker like Stub Hub the sky is the limit.
No, I haven’t purchased the tickets yet. Wanted to do the math first. So here we go:
5 tickets @ $75 ea
$ 375.00
5 fees @ $7.25 ea
$36.25
parking
$19.00
5 hot dogs
$26.25
5 sodas
$30.00
Total
$486.50
Just under $500 to spend a day watching the Bronx Bombers and that’s assuming you can ward off the cotton candy, peanuts and Cracker Jacks guys because you know your kids are going to want that too. And seriously, who is satisfied after just one hot dog? Have you seen the size of them lately?
So what do you do? Well, they do have some specials if you can take the kids out of school on a Wednesday and you can bring your own food if you put it in a clear plastic bag. And yes, there are always the bleachers at roughly $20 a ticket. So you can do it on the cheap but only you can decide whether it’s worth it. I was on ticketmaster.com seriously considering purchasing tickets for tomorrow’s game but after today’s 22-4 defeat and their opening record I am glad I didn’t click submit! What do you think?
What happened to the old adage that having a sibling teaches you how to share in life? Why do brothers fight?
As I sit here listening to the screaming coming from our basement I wonder how I got myself into this predicament. Do they have too much? Do they have too little? Are we not stepping in as parents and helping them resolve conflicts more constructively? Is there such a thing as constructive conflict resolution without leaving some damage?
The only thing they are sharing now is a mean thirst to beat each other senseless. And, boys tend to be pretty physical (trust me, I am NOT saying girls are not physical, but boys just tend to be a bit more rough). It’s really just a matter of time before I have to run downstairs and separate them, risking bodily injury to myself while they walk away unscathed.
So what is the issue at hand this time? Well, it’s a couple of issues. First Issue: Older son went on younger son’s computer and messed with his ITunes…not tragic but still an invasion of privacy. Second issue: younger sons (aka the twins) lost older son’s memory card after they used it of course….also not tragic but pretty annoying none the less. I could go on and on with multiple issues of the day but the two aforementioned pretty much give you the flavor of the moment.
I recognize both issues at hand are an invasion of privacy. BUT both go back to sharing in a way. Older son uses younger son’s computer, younger sons use older son’s memory card. Ah Hah! So that’s how siblings learn to share? So someone please remind me….what do we, the parents get out of it????
I haven’t posted in a while -been too busy staring at my 401k statement and figuring out ways to save money on holiday presents while still keeping some joy in this difficult economic season. Back in October I started planting the seed with the kids: it’s a bad economy, don’t expect a lot of gifts, it won’t be like last year and make sure when you make your holiday list you put a lot of thought into it - just list a couple of things that you really want more than anything else.
Oh sure! Well, they started off in earnest, scratching their heads, thinking about their wants and needs (do they really “need” anything???) and came up with about 4 things on their list. Ok, not a bad start. We can manage that down a bit. Read the rest of this entry »
Are you making any changes to your personal spending habits due to the economic crisis? Have your re-evalutated your family budget to determine where to cut back spending? How much have you told your kids about your money situation? As a full time career mom I pay for convenience. I don’t have the time to scour the sales, I pay extra for pre or partially made dinners and we order take out probably more than most but….
Today is still a good time to sit back and assess wants and needs and understand that even little changes go a long way. Here are 6 things I have done in the past couple of weeks.
Credit card balances. Thankfully, I don’t have much on the cards but there is still no reason to pay interest rates just so I can keep some extra money in my pocket…which I will inevitably spend any way. So, I scraped together what I could and just paid off my balance. Do I have less in my pocket? Yes…but that’s a good thing…now to not bring out the plastic again!
Water- wow, does my family go through water bottles. It started to get out of control when we would go through 5 bottles at dinner…that’s just wasteful and bad for the environment. Our tap water tastes very good so this is just pure laziness on our part. Now, each night the kids fills up a pitcher of water and leave it in the refrigerator. Bottles are strictly for school lunches…big savings there at $6.99 for a 24 pack of Poland Spring and by drinking tap water we’re actually getting some flouride.
Gasoline - It’s hard to cut down on gas when most of my driving is for my daily commute, but little things help. For instance, I no longer idle when picking up my kids from their destination, I also no longer heat up the car before I get into it - yes I freeze for a few minutes but come on, we can all suck it up a bit, right?
Food - Prices seem to have no limits and even though gas prices have decreased recently, food prices have not followed that trend. My food bills are frightening but now I’m even more focused on the sales. When something goes on sale, like pasta I buy a dozen boxes which will generally carry me a few weeks until it goes on sale again. At the supermarket sale items generally cycle every 3 weeks, so buy something you know you will use in a 3 week supply and by the time you run out it should be back on sale again.
Educating the Kids - Last night my 10 year old asked me the difference of credit and debit. I defined it simply. Credit is when the bank loans you the money and you need to pay it back with interest. So, basically your $50 Wii game comes with 10% interest so you actually pay $55 for it - $50 goes to pay for the game and $5 goes to the bank for the privilege of letting you borrow the money. And, if you take too many months to pay off the game, the bank keeps adding fees and you could actually end up paying more than $50 in fees alone…where all those fees could have gone to save up for another game! My explanation for debit was it’s the same as a checking account. You can only spend money if you have it in the bank so if there’s no money in the account you can’t buy it…plain and simple..I prefer debit.
Holidays- See number 5 above. If you drill it into your kids’ heads enough believe it or not they do get it. My kids just started their holiday lists. When I warned them to go easy they moaned, “we know - the economy”. Perhaps they’re tired of hearing it but they each gave me a very short list and said they don’t expect much this year. I would have preferred they said they don’t expect anything…but I’ll take what I can get.
I’m looking for more money saving tips during this economic crisis. What are you doing to cut spending from your family budget? And, how are you communicating your spending cuts to your kids?
Nestled in between the economic crisis and the election is this little “holiday” named, Halloween. I admit, I am so not focused on Halloween right now which is kind of tough since my 3 boys live for trick o treating and the hordes of candy they bring home. I am more focused on saving moneyand putting something aside for the holiday season.
But I can’t disappoint the little devils so what are some ways to save money this Halloween?
Costumes - This is pretty easy. There are so many ways to save on costumes. First, you can recycle ones from last year. I have 3 boys - they can swap costumes from year to year and change them up with a few cheap accessories. Or, they can swap with friends. Also, use your creativity and make your own. This year with a few accessories we’re making our own costumes. Look around your house. It’s amazing the things you might find, or go to the Salvation Army and pick up odds and ends. There are so many sites that will lend ideas on making your own costumes. Here are just a few: Robinsfyi , DisneyFamily, Family Crafts.
Decorations - Over the years we have purchased many decorations so I don’t need any more. But, if you don’t have much, use your creativity here as well. Years ago, we made our own scare crow out of old jeans and a work shirt. We stuffed it with newspapers and stuck a plastic pumpkin head on top - when they were young it looked so sweet; now my boys cover its head with a bloody mask, stick an axe in the poor guy’s neck and put fake rats in all sorts of sordid places. And speaking of masks, use the old ones as decorations…just take some rope, string together and hang from trees. If you still have the costumes you can stuff and hang as well. Go through your house and be creative…and buy some fake blood…it’s amazing how much you can accomplish with a little bit of blood!
Pumpkins- Surprise, surprise. Pumpkins are CHEAPER at the supermarket than the farm! When you go to the “pick your own” farm you pay by weight. A pumpkin that costs $5 at the supermarket can be almost $10 at the farm. But, if a fun family day is what you’re after then it’s worth the price. If savings is your goal, opt for the supermarket, AND if your kids aren’t too picky you can always have Peapod deliver! Get more out of your money by carving them into designs and roasting the seeds. It’s a messy, smelly job but let the kids do it - they’re used to sticking their hands in funky places. We carve them into some pretty incredible designs and light with candles.
Candy- I have a bit of a problem here because candy expectations are high when you have the best dressed house on the block. How can I say this with out bragging? Well most people on our block do not decorate, that’s how. We also live on the school block which means hundreds of kids stop at our house every day marveling at the display. If we disappoint on the candy we will most certainly get egg’d and whipped creamed. Oh like you never did this as a kid? So I just buy everything in bulk at stores like Walmart and Costco, shop the sales and mix up the more expensive chocolate candies with the cheaper non-chocolate ones. If I run low I just take candy out of my children’s trick o treat bags. Oh yes, they are thrilled with that one, but come on, how much candy can they really eat? And one other thing on candy, DON’T bother buying those silly little candy bags. Do you really think they kids appreciate the time and money spent? It is just more work for them to get to the goods…save the cash and the time!
Parties - My advice for parties is DON’T HAVE ONE! If your child is invited to a party (I’m assuming you’re like me and would rather be dipped in fake blood than throw one in your own house), they can bring a little token without spending too much money. Get a box of brownie mix, container of frosting, and some candy corn (from your trick o treat stash). Voila - Halloween brownies for about $3 and you look like a hero, plus the kids have a ball decorating them. I’d even be a sport and spend $5 just for the privilege of shipping my little devils off to some other poor parent’s house.
Did I leave anything out here? How do you intend to save money while still providing your sweet little pumpkins with a smashing Halloween this year?
I’m finding myself increasingly obsessed with watching CNN and reading post after post on financial and credit matters. In fact as I write this post, I realize CNN has replaced my Ipod as back ground “music”. While I’m trying not to allow the Wall Street woes affect me too much, it’s nearly impossible. We have a few credit cards (thankfully we don’t have high balances), a mortgage and 3 kids pre-college age. So in my quest to ingest as much credible information as possible on the credit crisis today and the steps I should be taking, I discovered a really neat new website, CreditFYI.
My favorite thing about CreditFYI is they speak to you in laymen’s terms. The other thing that I love is it’s interactive. Just submit a question on any financial topic and one of their credit and ID theft experts will answer it. It’s a “one stop shop” for all of your credit questions, up to the minute financial news, mortgage calculators, car loan providers, how to guides and credit reports. They also provide you with some pretty cool tools such as estimating your credit score, because in this time of limited lending you really need to know your score and work on ways to improve it. You can also do some credit card comparison shopping (it’s a really good time to consolidate and lower your interest rates) but I think I’ll just stay away from that one for now!
There are many informative videosand podcasts and I particularly liked this article on reasons NOT to close out your unused credit cards. I didn’t know closing your credit cards could actually hurt your credit rating. With my spending temptation I’m on a mission to cut up my cards as soon as I have zero balances! Guess I’ll be hiding them in a drawer moving forward.
And there’s one other benefit of CreditFYI that no one else offers - a free identity theft monitoring service that doesn’t require you to give out your personal data. ID theft is growing every day and with today’s economy it’s an even greater concern.
Check out this video announcing the new site - what do you think?
There is much debate on how much to tell your children about the current economy. It’s the main focus of the news, it’s talked about in school and we live in an area where many parents work for major financial institutions.
I feel it is important for children to understand the current economic issues in an age appropriate fashion. But how do you explain the economy without instilling fear and insecurity? TheWall Street Journal has an interesting post on explaining the current economic mess to children. Below is their age appropriate guide to communication. Personally, I read through it and feel it’s a bit too vague and over protective for the older ages. In fact, the messages really don’t vary that much by age…go ahead and read for yourself….
At some point you need to involve your children in family finances. How do you prepare them for life situations by just comforting them and saying every thing is ok? There is an example in the WSJ article in which a father explains to his daughter they need to trim back a bit. His daughter made a list of all the things she could cut back on (movies, etc). The father reacted by telling her they weren’t that bad off instead of complimenting her for her foresight. I would be thrilled if any of my children were mature enough to do that! Yes, you still have to reassure your child you are in control of your financial situation but children also need to do their share as part of the family unit. I’m not saying you send a 10 year old out to work but there are many ways a child can help out when times are rough. For example, if you cancel the lawn mowing service to save money, your child can take on that task etc.
We explained the economic crisis to our children the best way we could, afterall it’s not that simple for even us to understand. I thought this post from the NY Times was helpful (although a bit slanted) when speaking to our children because it’s written in layman’s terms. Do they get it? Not fully but they do understand conceptually we are in a time of major belt tightening and we all need to do our share. So now when we shave a bit off their allowance and curb our dining out events they at least have a basic understanding of where we are coming from and are part of the “team”. They may not like it but quite frankly, we’re not loving it either.
Life is about ups and downs. If we keep telling our children everything is ok how will they ever learn to manage without us?
